So here I sit typing with my thumbs on my phone. This is the main reason I have not posted much in the last six weeks. Since my iBook bit the dust, the hand me down house pc died shortly thereafter, and I sadly realized today that the PowerBook I had been led to online, paid all the money (and even borrowed some) to purchase - well, it was a scam and that was an entire month ago that the transaction was made. Now it's some hassling around paypal to report the fraud and refund my meager $350. Which is a joke to find any decent apple laptop at that price. I'm more then a little depressed over th situations at hand recently - my main (only) help/worked on the bus - Matthew - has been gone to California for a week and will be busy with his own life upon return...we don't really know how to convert th fuel system, my ex-husband is in th hospital again after a ruptured appendix, battling some mysterious and very serious infection - causing me to question all - where is my faith and loyalty? Work was bizarrely slow last weekend - making about $200 in ny workweek and lacking even enough to pay the bills - I was paid one child support payment in th last three months, which totaled q third of one monthly payment. And obviously I can count on not receiving nay more payments fo at least a month...and feeling guilty that that perturbs me as jay lay ill in th hospital....
Now that I feel that negativity melting after getting most of my hinderances out in virtual ink, it's time to make th most of what I had and stop complaining about how difficult or impossible things seem -'things I tell my kids - just do it. Stop wasting your energy moaning about what we don't have and use your peers of resourcefulness to do the job. A computer would help but heck, look at this amazingthing in my hands, I just need to use my wit and learn to make it work fo m. Thank god for trial and Erie, how else would I be the mcgeyvor of mothers?? I'm meeting with an old hippie in NC Friday to ECM out his veggie oil converted international and trusting I can come up with the time and parts to recreate the conversion before the go date - now a solid August 7, even if that means driving it down the street until the conversion is com. Then unto Philly. Wfor now I'm on tubing for a decent apple laptop...for ch
I think it's something about this oppressive summer - I find myself wondering what happened to my positive attitude when there's been no tangible cause for the shift, and noticing a similar thing with other people. I keep thinking, "I need to cheer myself up by cheering up other people, let's bake!" And then I get home. And it's so hot. And when the day is over, I realize I've done nothing. Whew. Life.
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