more later

I am sitting in a maternity ward, just me and Emily - my friend of 17 years and I, her doula.  Probably about 9cm dilated.  She is resting after an epidural.  It is just her and I.  It is calmly surreal.

Soon I - mother of three naturally-birthed babies - will be blessed to be a part of my first birth other then my own!  I am proud of Emily for making it as far as she did without any medication. . .more on that later.

Ok, it's officially 3 days later - The strength and empowerment of women is a tricky thing - it has so simply become a Thing to be controlled and subdued, buried, denied, disengaged, played-down, and when it comes down to it - ignored.  This is reflected in the surrealism we have at births.  It was a holy affair, but leveled out by the presence of 9 hospital staff, spotlights, drugs, and a male obstetrician who made small talk during one of the most sacred times of Life, downplaying this entire holy process with insane comments - would it be ok to chat idly about Brad Pitt during wedding vows or a funeral or instead of last rites?  The absence of sanctity at birth and during labor is only one stark example of the voluntary surrender of power we allow as women.  As with any birth or death, the spirit cannot be removed, it's impossible, so of course it always remains spiritual, but we have a say in the level of that realization.

Climbing up and down my bus, putting away tools, getting my Commercial Driver's License, knowing what R factors and closed cell means, knowing what the options are for heating the veggie oil in the engine conversion, knowing the specs on my 7.3L Diesel International, knowing where we are going first, knowing I can do all this because I have been doing all this, through God - well, that's empowerment, and the God I know and love is all about that.  He is a strong supporter of strong women - and you know what?  We are all times and times stronger then what we are taught and what we think we believe.